Once more I am 34,000 feet in the air flying through the sky at 380 miles on my way home to Los Angeles. So I didn't manage to write every single day while I was away, but while I would have once chastised myself, I now am letting myself be ok with it. I tried my best, and next time I will do better.
This experience was full on. It was a lot more work that I initially imagined, and it ruffled my feathers. Jonni spoke about how meditation is like the shaking of a tree, releasing all the old leaves and fruits that no longer need to be attached the the branches. I felt myself go further inward, with a clear and honest light, peeking into my fears and insecurities.
As much work as I do on myself, and I really try to practice these rituals daily, there is still a lot left to be done. I am not perfect by any means. I still have insecurities, I still struggle with being vulnerable or allowing my needs and desires to be known. But I'm a lot less worried now than I was before. I have been reminded that we are all humans, and to be a little more compassionate with myself.
I came to realize that I was not fulfilling my potential, in many areas of my life. I had to step away from my 'norm' to gain a new perspective. I spend too much time on my phone, avoiding myself. I spend too much energy on other people, instead of nurturing my own passions. I procrastinate, and I internalize. But I am only human. And I have the willingness to change. And that's all I can ask for. I trust that the universe will provide the people and the path that I am supposed to know. I just have to do the work. And for me that is meditating twice daily for 20 minutes.
This is the commitment I am making to myself.
So I can be a better human. So I can remember who I am and why I am here. So I can remain in a state of awareness, instead of reacting. So I can love myself more deeply, so I can love others more fully.
I meditate so that I can embody the practice. So that I can show people the effects on a real life human - me! To show them that this is not some farse, or quick fix. This is a life style. It is so possible to feel energized, inspired, connected, and 100% blissed out every day. We just have to choose to live that. And commit to the habits that enable that connection.
This experience has inspired me to create something new - a movement if you will. Called the Happy Hearts Club. It is a gathering of people who want to connect. Who want to live consciously and make a positive impact in the world.
Caley and I will be hosting weekly meditation groups in Los Angeles, and come April, we will be teaching 3 day courses to LEARN HOW TO MEDITATE. We are both so excited to get this going, and can't wait to start! There is a hunger for this community, this connection, this understanding, and I want to be able to provide and hold space for those who are seeking.
We are in this together. We are sharing this human experience as one. We are individual expressions of a common thread that ties us all together. Lets support each other. Lets lift each other up. Lets be here for one another, and allow others to be there for us.
You're not alone. This is something I have to remind myself of often.