1.25.18 // In the air

Once more I am 34,000 feet in the air flying through the sky at 380 miles on my way home to Los Angeles. So I didn't manage to write every single day while I was away, but while I would have once chastised myself, I now am letting myself be ok with it. I tried my best, and next time I will do better. 

This experience was full on. It was a lot more work that I initially imagined, and it ruffled my feathers. Jonni spoke about how meditation is like the shaking of a tree, releasing all the old leaves and fruits that no longer need to be attached the the branches. I felt myself go further inward, with a clear and honest light, peeking into my fears and insecurities. 

As much work as I do on myself, and I really try to practice these rituals daily, there is still a lot left to be done. I am not perfect by any means. I still have insecurities, I still struggle with being vulnerable or allowing my needs and desires to be known. But I'm a lot less worried now than I was before. I have been reminded that we are all humans, and to be a little more compassionate with myself. 

I came to realize that I was not fulfilling my potential, in many areas of my life. I had to step away from my 'norm' to gain a new perspective. I spend too much time on my phone, avoiding myself. I spend too much energy on other people, instead of nurturing my own passions. I procrastinate, and I internalize. But I am only human. And I have the willingness to change. And that's all I can ask for. I trust that the universe will provide the people and the path that I am supposed to know. I just have to do the work. And for me that is meditating twice daily for 20 minutes. 

This is the commitment I am making to myself. 

So I can be a better human. So I can remember who I am and why I am here. So I can remain in a state of awareness, instead of reacting. So I can love myself more deeply, so I can love others more fully. 

I meditate so that I can embody the practice. So that I can show people the effects on a real life human - me! To show them that this is not some farse, or quick fix. This is a life style. It is so possible to feel energized, inspired, connected, and 100% blissed out every day. We just have to choose to live that. And commit to the habits that enable that connection. 

Hence, mediation.

This experience has inspired me to create something new - a movement if you will. Called the Happy Hearts Club. It is a gathering of people who want to connect. Who want to live consciously and make a positive impact in the world. 

Caley and I will be hosting weekly meditation groups in Los Angeles, and come April, we will be teaching 3 day courses to LEARN HOW TO MEDITATE. We are both so excited to get this going, and can't wait to start! There is a hunger for this community, this connection, this understanding, and I want to be able to provide and hold space for those who are seeking. 

We are in this together. We are sharing this human experience as one. We are individual expressions of a common thread that ties us all together. Lets support each other. Lets lift each other up. Lets be here for one another, and allow others to be there for us. 

You're not alone. This is something I have to remind myself of often. 

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1.24.18 // Day 10 // How time flies

I think that I avoided writing the last two days because I didn't want to accept the fact that this experience is coming to a close. Jonni keeps telling us that this is not the end, just the beginning, but I still feel that twinge of fear of something being over. 

It is easy to feel effervescent and connected when you're in a room with 20 some odd, highly intelligent, highly conscious humans, discussing concepts of connection and wisdom and all this yummy stuff. What I guess I'm most nervous about is integrating all of this information in my day to day life. Like... am I going to fall off the band wagon once I get home and mindlessly fall back into my old routine?! I really hope not. 

I guess now I have a new (and very powerful) network of humans who can keep me accountable and grounded when I'm feeling off kilter. I just love all of this information and want to keep soaking up more!! 

Last night after we wrapped our final day of lecture filming, and my heart felt like it was splitting at the seams, but we finished with a fun group photoshoot with an amazing photographer, with music floating through the room, and it helped lift my spirits. 

One of the girls wanted to bring us to a thrift shop around the corner, where I loaded my arms up with as many funky pieces as I could hold. I tried everything on, and despite the lure of 80's dresses, and leopard blouses, I settled on a pair of tan vintage levis. Photos to come soon! 

A group of us wandered around Brooklyn, with a rain cloud looming heavily overhead, until we came across a Spanish wine bar. After the rollercoaster of emotion that we've all experienced the last ten days, we all agreed that the importance of wine was extremely necessary. We gathered around a large wooden table, and unpacked the concepts that we've been taught, how they related to our lives back home, and were also able to discuss more intimate subjects, like relationships, sex, fears, and insecurities. Its amazing how these fears and insecurities can separate us from one another, and on the other side of the coin, are experiences we are ALL having, yet so afraid to expose. 

2 bottles of wine, and an abundance of mushroom gnocchi, burrata and squid ink later, we called it a night. Over 3 hours had passed, and Caley and I ventured home. It was about a 30 minute walk. Our friendship has solidified so much more than one can ever expect from another human throughout this process. We were able to completely dissolve the barriers between us, things we realized and even those we didn't. The comparison transformed to uplifting support. The competition turned into a deep excitement to collaborate. 

I think through this whole process, one of the biggest takeaways is about how we can start to relate to one another as a SHARED HUMAN BEING EXPERIENCE. To move very far away from comparison, and separation, and truly, deeply, and honestly connect with ourselves and with each other. I don't think it's a crazy idea that humans can live in peace and harmony with one another. And through this specific technique of meditation, we can so easily bridge that divide. 

If you're reading this, and if you've ever felt distant from the people around you, or disconnected from yourself, from that place of true love for YOU, than I urge and encourage you to please meditate. You can start today, right now! You don't have to be a certified meditation teacher to experience being and connection. This is not an ad, this is my honest advice on how to better every aspect of your life. Download the 1 Giant Mind app and commit (TO YOURSELF) to take the 12 day Learn to Meditate course, and then continue on and do the 30 day challenge, and make this a regular habit. 

Don't take it from me, validate these words for yourself. You are worth living a fulfilling, prosperous, loving life. Do it for you. And if you can't do it for you, do it for me. 

I love you. I love you. I love you. 

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