Yesterday was an emotional day, as I publicly revealed on my Instagram. Those days, those overwhelming, debilitating days, are (thankfully) far and few between for me nowadays. But every once in a while, because, yes, I am human too, they hit. And when they do, they tend to hit hard.
I haven't had a day like this for about a year and a half. I'm pretty good at keeping my sh*t together, considering the amount of everyone else's "stuff" I endure on the regular. I am the mediator of my family. The peace keeper. I am the one that others usually come to to help resolve their own issues. I teach yoga, and meditation, and hold space for others to heal. I get dozens of messages every day from strangers on Instagram asking for serious advice to their very real problems. I try not to let social media define me, but again, I'm just inhabiting this human form (for now.)
Its usually an onslaught of things that causes the breakdown. Like, I'm Ok... I'm Ok... ok, I am not okay. Now I am on the floor crying in a puddle.
You know that mindset like, "I KNOW I have so many things to be grateful for, but fuck everything and I hate myself?" That is basically what was on repeat for hours on end.
So what can we do when we are mid puddle, snot not so elegantly pouring from our noses, face puffed, eyes red, and just an overall heaping mess?
Hopefully that is not what you are experiencing, but that is most definitely the state that I was in yesterday.
Here's what it took to get me to snap out of my tizzy.
1. Good People: I have considered myself a lone wolf most of my life, marching along to the tune in my head, not too concerned with being a part of any group. I never felt like I truly fit in, and years later, aka like 2 months ago, I realized a deeply engrained limiting belief I had that I did not belong. It wasn't until that was cleared that I was able to truly attract an incredible group of humans that care for me. Not because of their own agenda, but like... because they care about me. Radical.
These aforementioned good people can give you a loving slap in the face when you need one. Its important to reach out. Tell someone that you're in pain. That you're feeling lost. Or alone. Because we've ALL been there. Seriously. Everyone experiences the sharp teeth of life at some point, be it in all different forms, we are still here to support one another and help each other out in the low moments.
2. Deep Breaths: When you're crying, ever notice the way that you're breathing? Or should I say, not breathing? More of a frantic gasping for air. Well this triggers your nervous system into thinking that you're being attacked, and it needs to release a chemical cocktail to amp up your adrenaline levels, so that you can either enter into battle, or high tail it out of there, even if you're alone in your room and in no actual danger. This is your fight or flight response, and its a high stress response in your body. SO when you notice yourself breathing quickly and its a shallow panting, then try to slow your breath down. Notice how paying attention to the way that you're breathing also connects you to the present moment, so that there is no room to worry about the future or replay the past. You are here. Breathe in. Breathe out. Ahh, doesn't that feel better already?
3. Rest: After a good cry, all I really want to do is curl up into a teensy ball and rest. Give yourself permission to rest. We are so overly stimulated at all times, and the notion that rest = laziness has unfairly been engrained in our society. How can we function if we are constantly moving, doing, planning, thinking, etc?! Slow down, my dear. Take a seat, close your eyes. Rest your head, and allow yourself to be still.
4. Movement: After I cried myself to sleep, and indulged in going to bed at 9:30pm, I woke up feeling like I was ready to shake off those blues. My girlfriends, aka the good people I keep around me, invited me to take a class, called "The Class." I was honestly so reluctant. I was still having a sadness hangover, and of course every possible challenge arouse when trying to get out of the house, and find parking, and not be late, and finally get there, tears welling in my eyes out of frustration and lingering anger. I took a deep breath and was greeted with a hug, and walked into the class. 5 minutes later (after doing squats for an entire song straight) I was out of my head and in my body. My heart was pumping and the music was loud, and that evil, nagging voice was no where to be heard. Needless to say, an hour later, I had flushed the woes out of my system, and I am happy to report, that after a little maintenance, and retuning, I am feeling much more like myself.
We all fall down. We all get hurt. We all judge and criticize. Its our human nature to experience the full range of emotions. To evolve our souls we must over come the identity attached to these emotions. Just because you are feeling sad, does not mean you ARE sad. Give yourself permission to feel all the feels, and give yourself permission to let them go.
You deserve to be happy. I'm not saying you need to be jumping for joy 24/7, thats just unrealistic! But find some tools and tips and tricks that can help make those uncomfortable moments shorter and less debilitating.
I love you so so much.